


No good next to diamonds

by HedgehogWrites



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Songfic, Suicide, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 05:04:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17543210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HedgehogWrites/pseuds/HedgehogWrites
Summary: Are you angry with me now?Are you angry, 'cause I'm to blame?Draco had tried to be a better man for Potter, but look where that had got them. Yet another failure. Another bad decision. Time to make a good one.





	No good next to diamonds

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thanks for reading! I’m new at this whole writing thing, but I always wanted to. Much to my surprise, I finished three fics! So I decided to push myself a bit further. My challenge for this one: write a drabble during a song. I bet you can guess which one it was :). I cheated a teensy bit, because I added the song text after the song and listened thrice. Hey, I can type fast, but thát fast?!
> 
> If you like this little fic, please feel free to leave kudos or a comment. It’ll keep me motivated to keep on challenging myself. Please be kind, as English isn’t my native language, I don’t have a beta and I’ve only started writing last November.
> 
> About this fic: there are three major triggers in this one, so please, please, please heed the tags! Just to make sure you didn’t accidentally miss them, brace yourself for major character death, successful suicide and unhappy ending. 
> 
> That said, please enjoy!

‘But I, I’m no good next to diamonds,  
When I’m too close to start to fade.  
Are you angry with me now?  
Are you angry ‘cause I’m to blame?’ 

Draco shouts at the top of his lungs, his liquor slushing dangerously in his glass, his legs swaying as he dances around the living with a pretend Potter in his arms. Images of Potter flood through his brain. First kiss, first date, first fuck. And then their first row. Hateful, spiteful Draco, trying to hurt Potter as bad as he can. But Potter believes in him. Doesn’t let go as easy as Draco had assumed. Days turn into weeks, weeks into years, until he had to fuck it up.

‘Never wanna hide the truth from you  
Just hang my head what I put you through’

The movie in his head fast forwards to Potter’s hurt face when he caught Blaise and him red handed. Blaise fucking him on the sofa in their home, Draco’s plush arse on display for the whole world. Potter wanting to talk, Draco, too ashamed, turns to the self defense mechanism that has got him through the war.  
Draco takes another big swig as the Boxer Rebellion keeps singing on his Magic-enhanced stereo.

‘I wasn't good enough  
When what's done is done love  
When it's all said and done’

All those moments he just wasn’t good enough flash through his mind. Potter’s sad face when he forgot yet another anniversary, his silent disapproval when Draco was hateful and sarcastic. Potter never could get used to his spiteful comments, his bitchy snark. And then Potter’s shattered look when Draco told him he didn’t mean anything. That he only got together with him to upgrade the Malfoy brand. That Blaise was and always will be a better, hotter fuck than Saint Potter.

If only he had known. How much Draco loves him. How sorry he is that he couldn’t be a better person, a more considerate lover. That he knows no other way to love. By Merlin, he had tried. Tried for Potter to be a better version of himself. But of course it was deemed to fail. His father was right. It’s yet another failure, he’s another failure. He’s a good for nothing fucker. Draco starts crying. First with small, with tiny sobs.

‘But I'm  
No good next to Diamonds  
When I'm too close to start to fade’

Then the images flash to the last few weeks. Seeing Potter with dozens of other men and women in the Prophet makes Draco’s stomach twist. Photos of sexual escapes with Potter’s lustfilled eyes on yet another bloke sucking him off almost make him puke.

‘Are you angry with me now  
Are you angry cause I'm to blame’

Draco is seriously crying now, chest heaving, his heart feels like it’s breaking in a million tiny pieces. He doesn’t want to feel this pain and everlasting sadness.  
He refills his glass. Just one more, he thinks. One more to get the courage. He picks up his note and places it on the mantelpiece. It’s difficult to see where he’s going, because the tears are streaming down his cheeks, leaving dark spots on his shirt. He’s getting trouble to breathe, his voice wavering as he keeps on singing.

Will Harry be angry? He hopes he does, but he doubts it. To be angry with someone means you’d still have to have feeling for someone. And Potter doesn’t feel anything for him anymore. Draco also doesn’t want to anymore. Soon, he thinks.

His tears still as they are replaced by determination. He stumbles up his stairs to the bedroom, eyes swollen from crying. He has already lain out his best outfit, the potion is waiting. As he dresses he allows himself to think about Potter one more time. About his beautiful eyes and the way they sparkle when he’s merry. His endearing laugh that fills a room, making people want to be in close proximity. His mischievous, childish sense of humor, the pranks he likes to pull. His caring, strong arms that always held Draco through the worst of his nightmares. He lays on the bed and unstoppers the vial of swirling, golden liquid. The irony that a potion with this goal would be so beautiful, so mesmerizing, almost makes Draco smirk. He doesn’t hesitate and chucks the whole vial at once and closes his eyes.

'Cause I fall away  
Further than I ever was  
Further than I ever was  
Further than I ever was  
Further than I ever was  
Further than I ever was  
Further than I ever was’

Draco feels himself falling, deeper and deeper, into a dreamless sleep. His breathing slows down, heart rate decreases. He doesn’t know what to say or think anymore, as he slowly shifts into oblivion. The stereo blasts it’s final line at the same time Draco blows out his final breath.

‘I have no words.’

**Author's Note:**

> Don't kill me, okay?


End file.
